Are dogs "patients"?

In this week's Woodstock Independent is a photograph of a dog's being treated at a Woodstock veterinary clinic. Under the photo the caption reads "(name) works with a patient ..."

I love animals, but they are animals. They aren't humans. In my book, humans are "patients". Animals are not patients.

Some people talk about animals as "loved" ones. They "can't live" without them. Then why do they drive around with small dogs on their laps, between the steering wheel and their chest? Aside from the danger of interference with driving, imagine the injury to the dog if the airbag deploys.

If they were "just" animals, would the vets be able to rack up bills in the amounts they do? I swear, when you take your dog in for a $15 rabies shot, you can't get out for less than $150-200. First, the vet's receptionist wants to know the dog's name. No, dearie; ask my name. I'm footing the bill.

Then they want to weigh the dog. It's a wonder they don't put little paper shoes on the dog's paws. After all, another animal was just on that same scale.

Then you track through the urine puddles left by other animals to a chair in the lobby and sit down and wait. Then off to the examining room. Do you cringe as the vet feels your dog's body? What will he find? Fleas? A tumor? Just matted hair?

Yes, when I had a dog, I loved him. Or her. Or it.

And I didn't want to hear, "You do want to take care of your dog, don't you?" Guilt, guilt, guilt. Do they learn those words in seminars at vet conferences?

Yes, I do want to take care of my dog. That's why I'm here with it for its rabies shot for $15. That's all I want! But a lot of vets won't give your dog that $15 rabies shot without all the extras. So then, just go some place where they will. And, yes, some will.