Blago calls Gus

Early this morning - about 2:45AM, I think it was - my telephone rang. Naturally, I wondered who would be calling me at such an hour. An emergency? Ed McMahon, looking for directions to my place for the TV crew and the big check?

The conversation went like this, best as I can remember...

Gus: "Hul-lo?"
Blago: "Gus, this is Rod. You know, the Governor."
Gus (yawn): "Good morning, Governor. What can I do for you?"
Blago: "Well, Patti and I are going to be on ABC's The View tomorrow, and I'm calling to ask for any suggestions you have. You were on The View about ten years ago; right?"
Gus: "Right, it was about ten years ago. How quickly time passes and people forget."
Blago: "It does? They do? Thank goodness. Now, about The View."
Gus: "First off, leave a little early to catch the right CTA to O'Hare."
Blago: "That's okay. We have a ride."
Gus: "Then in New York take a cab..."
Blago: "They are going to meet us at the airport."
Gus: "They are? They didn't meet me."
Blago: "I mean, what should we expect on the program itself."
Gus: "Plan to spend some time in the Green Room. The bathroom is down the hall to the right."
Blago: "How long will we have to wait?"
Gus: "If your "five minutes of fame" is like mine, you'll wait about 50 minutes and then will be the show's Hot Topic in the 3-5 minutes at the end."
Blago: "I think we are going to get more time than that."
Gus: "Remember that this is a family show, in the daytime. Don't drop any of the f-bombs."
Blago: "Anything else?"
Gus: "Well, Barbara Walters might be there to thank you just before you leave."
Blago: "Thanks for the advice. You really were on the show, weren't you?"
Gus: "I sure was, Governor. And I was even recognized in a restaurant in Huntley later that day. The show is live, so check your back when you get back to Chicago."
Blago: "Thanks, Gus. Sorry to call you so early, but I know you're busy." (click)

And then the neighbor's dog barked, and I woke up.