Oh, brave vandal...

I wonder who the hooligan is who is so brave that he can vandalize a parking sign on the Square. This morning as I stopped on eastbound Jackson at the corner of Johnson St., right alongside the Woodstock Square Mall, I noticed that the 2-Hour Parking sign had been vandalized.

It must take real courage for someone to stand on the wall or stand on the hood of a car to bend a City parking sign. Perhaps the City could recognize him (or her) at a City Council meeting and give him a plaque, commemorating his civic duty, and then direct the police chief to haul him off the jail.

A good penalty would be seven days in the County jail, a $500 fine, and 30 days of community service wearing a bright orange jump suit with the wording “I vandalized a City sign.” Have him help Public Works replace the sign, and have him walk (what? Walk? Could that be cruel and unusual punishment?) around Woodstock and record the locations of other vandalized and damaged signs.

Residents should report all vandalized, damaged and missing signs to pwdept@woodstockil.gov or by calling 815/338-6118.