Today I read about the jailer in Washington County, Arkansas, who got in hot water at work after posing nude for Playboy's website. Seems that Sheriff Tim Helder doesn't have much of a sense of humor about Jessie Lunderby, 21, and her photogenerosity.
The "news" also was published on http://www.dirtykeithvsdirtyharry.blogspot.com/ and I thought I'd have a little fun with Dave, so I sent him a "press release", as follows:
"Subject: PHILPOTT QUITS SHERIFF'S RACE
"In a sudden announcement today, released only to DirtyKeithvsDirtyHarry, Gus Philpott announced he is quitting the race for Sheriff and moving to Washington County, Arkansas, where he will run for Sheriff in the next election.
"When he called a local moving company, they asked if he was the same guy who called earlier from Hebron. Philpott didn't understand the question.
"Philpott said that, one way of the other, he is going to get into the Washington County Jail! If Lunderby hasn't been cleared by the time he takes office, Philpott promises fast action. He also promises personal attention to the jailer's problems."
I should have known what Dave would do with the press release, and he did it.
I had a great day today, but this was the icing on the cake. Thanks for the good laugh, Dave!
No worries, Sheriff Helder. Your job is safe. I've got a race right here to win on Nov. 2!
Dundee Township Hopefuls
5 hours ago
5 comments:
OK, everybody, you can stop sending me your applications now.
Might as well run out there too. You probably stand as good a chance of winning (maybe better) somewhere they do not know you.
The Dirty vs. Dirty blog is now a dead link...
Try again in a few hours or days. The site manager changes it frequently and also removes it briefly from time to time.
Hi, Gus: Let's see how YOUR sense of humor is today. Are you feeling funny yet? First, Woodstock should be so lucky to have you as sheriff to clean up all of their dirt.
And, secondly, for a little boost to your campaign, here's an idea you may wish to consider. For those who are curious about twenty-one-year-old Ms. Jessie Lunderby's profession, submit a Facebook Friend Request to her or Gus. Gus will most certainly accept you as his Facebook friend (won’t you?), where you may then visit his Profile “Likes” List to find not only Ms. Lunderby, but also, several pretty creepy-looking Facebook profile pictures of “admirers” and their even scarier comments.
Gus, seriously, given her experience at "jail work," I think you should ask Jessie Lunderby to help manage your online campaign with her soft porn. She probably doesn't know yet real men don't need or use porn, but that's okay.
Since Jessie obviously enjoys "casting her pearls before swine," maybe the two of you could work out some kind of a contract, in which mutually acceptable terms of employment might spelled out, so that, once elected - and I am one hundred percent in support of your election - your offer to hire her will be made good. Then the two of you could ride into the sunset together without ever having to rope any criminals into your jail!
Plus, you would have the distinction of being the first sheriff ever to hire Ms. Lunderby to do absolutely nothing except show up every day in her skimpy outfits and stroll through the jail! The more I think about my idea, the more convinced I remain that once elected as sheriff - what with your keen mind, plus Jessie's "photo generosity" - it will take only about four months to fill those jail cells with all the "bad guys," who will literally flock in and "sign up" to go to jail. You'll probably need to set up some type of a lottery or waiting list, so that all those male (and female?) felons can sign up and wait patiently to be called in to jail, where they can then boast about actually being able to land in a county jail where Ms. Lunderby poses as their warden!
Give it some thought, and let me know. Hey, maybe Sheriff Nygren will put himself in your jail, just so he can watch Ms. Lunderby walk past his cell every day of the week!
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