Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A "Phoebe Prince Law" needed?

By now many have read the stories about Phoebe Prince, the 15-year-old Massachusetts girl who committed suicide in January after being bullied relentlessly at her school.

I don't agree with Massachusetts' Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel that staff at South Hadley High School was not responsible. Some of them knew about the bullying; some of them apparently witnessed bullying incidents toward Phoebe.

In my opinion, they should be charged with failing to protect Phoebe.

Now, let's bring this back locally to Woodstock.

How many students in Woodstock's District 200 schools are victims or targets of bullies?

If you, as a student, are a victim of bullying, speak up. Speak out. Start with the principal of your school. Don't mess around with the chain-of-command. You'll run into too many roadblocks and barriers that will wear you out.

Take your complaint directly to the person responsible in your school to provide you a safe environment. Take support with you when you go to complain. Your support might be your parent(s), another relative, a best friend. When you meet with the principal, ask him or her to write up a report and to provide you with a copy of it within two days. Then go back to pick it up exactly two days later.

When you get home, send an email to the principal, confirming your meeting and what was discussed. Recite who said what, and who agreed to do what. Send a (carbon) copy (cc:) to the Superintendent.

If you are not satisfied with the action of the principal, don't waste your time going back a second time. Call the school district superintendent and set up a meeting. Take your parent(s). Follow up that meeting with written confirmation. Print and save all correspondence in a file folder at home.

If your problem isn't solved quickly and completely (i.e., if the bullying continues), contact me for more ideas.

Keep good, clear, written notes of any and all bullying. Write down dates and times, places, who was involved, what was said or done, who witnessed it, and especially whether any teachers or staff were present and what they did (or did not do).

And find someone who will listen to you. Don't stuff this or hide it. Do some reading. Barbara Coloroso is an author who has an international involvement in putting a stop to bullying. I've met Barbara; she is a good human being!

Bullying continues because kids do not stand up. Teachers may not speak up, because too many have learned to keep their heads "down" and not be the bearer of bad news to their department superiors and to the chief honcho in a school.

Bullying takes many forms and is not limited to bullying only by students. My opinion is that teachers are not likely to rat out on another teacher. They should; they must. They know it's wrong. But they won't.

Teachers may be even less likely to stick their heads up out of the fox holes right now, when the administrators are looking around for more heads to lop off - budget-wise. Sad. But true?

4 comments:

Debra said...

Easier said than done Gus. My son was bullied by a neighbor boy whose mother worked at the school. We reported the harassment everytime and nothing was ever done about this bully. Thankfully fate intervened and we ended up moving across town where my son did very well academically and socially at a different school. The bully.... he ended up with major mental issues, tried to hurt himself along with others. Karma is a biotch!

Anonymous said...

Do we need a law for everything?
TMB was bullied my freshman year in HS by a group of thugs. Fortunately, TMB is (and was) a larger fellow. I finally got sick & tired of my locker and belongings getting vandalized by these crietens and when they came to hassle me again by my locker, I grabbed the "leader" by his shirt collar and pinned him up against the lockers... his feet several inches off the floor... and used the line from one of the Death Wish movies: "Do you believe in Jesus, cuz if you mess with me again you're gonna meet him!". All the thugs were astonished, and never messed with me again.
Update>>> the lead thug and two of the "gangstas" are dead in their adult life... one to drugs, another in a robbery gone bad, and a car wreck.
In the end, you always get your comeupance.
Doh.

Gus said...

A reader and teacher sent this directly to me for re-posting:

"Additionally, most school-based counselors (actually, this responsibility falls on every school employee's shoulders) have been well-schooled that their first and most important job rests on provision and protection of the physical and emotional needs of the hundreds of students assigned to their caseload. Further, if the school counselor, teacher, cafeteria worker, custodian or bus driver values their job and personal assets, they will report any "situation" by telephone to Department of Human Services immediately, followed by documentation of the concern with a full written report of any physical or emotional neglect or sexual assault which comes to their attention, as well as contact information of the perpetrator(s,) - unless unknown or unavailable - within twenty-four hours following the report of incident."

Anonymous said...

A website has been established to promote a 'Phoebe's Law' in our nation. Please visit http://phoebeslaw.com