Don't call Melissa Bean's office

Yesterday I wanted help from Congresswoman Melissa Bean's office. There used to be something called Constituent Services. To me that meant help or helpful service.

Certainly, there might be some tough questions that require research. Other questions ought to be answered fairly easily. The presumption is that the office of a Member of Congress will provide accurate information and the employees will be able to comprehend the question.

Over the past month I have been assisting an African student with immigration difficulties. That story has been explained fully in other articles.

The problems continue at Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.) Employees don't answer their phones. They don't return phone calls. They don't identify themselves on their voicemail. The zero-out functionalities are disabled. In other words, it is impossible to reach a live person at I.C.E. What's so important about reaching them? When I bonded out the immigrant, an I.C.E. agent told me his court date would be changed from April 21, since he was no longer detained.

So I called the office of my elected representative in Congress - my Congress person. Now, not "my" person. Maybe that had something to do with it, but I think not.

My question yesterday was pretty simple. I wanted the name of the Agent-in-Charge of the Chicago Field office for (I.C.E.) , and I wanted direct contact information, such as snailmail address, direct-dial telephone number, e-mail address.

"Just a minute, please."

Three-four minutes later I had to re-explain my request to the same person.

"Just a minute, please."

Then the office worker gave me a Chicago telephone number for I.C.E. When I asked what department it was for, she said, "Investigations." I told her I thought that was not the right department.

"Just a minute, please."

Then she came back on the line and wanted to know if I was an attorney. I asked what that had to do with it.

"Just a minute, please."

Then she again told me to call "Investigations."

So I did. Guess what? The wrong section. Of course, it was the wrong section. An idiot would know that if you want to make a complaint to the Agent-in-Charge of the Chicago Field office, you don't call "Investigations."

The agent there wanted to be helpful but did not have the information to give me. So I fired off a second fax to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano. Fat chance that I'll hear from her, though. She didn't bother to have anyone reply to my April 2nd fax.

Then I remembered that no one from Sen. Roland Burris' office returned my calls of April 2. What else should you expect from a lame duck Senator? I'll bet his employees get paid on time, though.

I did ask the employee at Melissa Bean's office if that office had been closed on Good Friday. I had to pry the answer out of her, but that office was closed for a "staff administration day." Yeah, sure. Did they have training that day? Was it a work day? Or was the office really closed because it was Good Friday? And their messages on their office telephone answering devices? She didn't think they had been changed to reflect the closing of the offices.