Really important mail...

Last week I received a classy advertising promotion, offering me an "exclusive" Black Card. How can I pass it up???

It's a special VISA card, offered only to 1% of the U.S. residents. Right! So how did they find me? Maybe because my last name is between A and Z?

What's so special about this card? Limited membership. 24-hour concierge service. Luxury gifts (all free; right?). Patent pending carbon card (big deal).

And the best part? The annual fee is $495! "Only" $495.00. I'm on the way to the waste basket. If you hurry, I'll give you the web address for your application...