Saturday afternoon I was on Throop approaching the new pedestrian warning sign at the intersection of Cass. Four pedestrians were waiting to cross toward the Square, and I slowed to stop for them. As I did, I watched a small white car (Mitsubishi? or Toyota? coupe) come up pretty fast behind me and stop right on my bumper.
The driver appeared to be so close to my car that I don’t think there was walking distance between his car and mine. That’s close. As I waited for the four to cross, I looked in the mirror and the driver was making one of those hand gestures popular with WWE wrestler John Cena. He had his open hand in front of his face and was moving it side-to-side. You know the gesture? “You can’t see me.” And what follows on TV is one of those violent wrestling moves on a wrestler who is down on the mat.
After the pedestrians crossed, I drove on to the stop sign at Jackson. Again the white car stopped right on my bumper, and again the driver made the same hand gesture.
The vehicle had no front license plate, so I was unable to get the number – until I could pull over approaching Calhoun and let him pass. And there it was. An Illinois vanity plate – ZUM ZQQM
Don’t you just love it when drivers with vanity plates do stupid things? An easy plate to remember. An easy car to describe. An easy face to remember. In spite of the hand gesture, I really could see him.
Well, I guess I really should thank him for not bumping my car when I stopped for the pedestrians. And so I shall. Thanks. And thanks too for no body slam.
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Hi Gus, yes, I know him, he goes by "Jambo." He was born with his hand attached to his face, and that poses serious depth perception problems for him, hence his inability to brake properly. He's rear-ended several people here in town but is exempt from tickets or prosecution or loss of license under the Americans with Disabilities Act. He's a really nice guy though and despite his disabilty plays a wicked game of pool at DC Cobbs on Wed's and Fridays.
Hey, BTW, did you see the comment below about the pending Woodstock tax hike. Do check it out!
now that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. No on is protected from tickets because of the Americans with Disabitlites Act.
No, it's totally true: I was with him a month ago when he rear-ended a guy on the Square. (We were leaving Pirro's and heading over to the library to use the free internet.)
Anyway, he gave his AWD card to the cop and the cop tore up the citation he was halfway through writing. The driver of the other car went completely ape-sh*t over this and was given a citation for both interfering with a police officer and for public disobedience. It was pretty cool.
I guess this has happened to Jambo 2 other times in the last 11 months.
I think the car belongs to Quinn Keefe.
No, Quinn drives a '79 pink Cadillac with Lic. plate
"MLTLVL 1" that his wife won when she reached the Gold strata back in '77 while she was selling cosmetics for Mary Kay.
This is Jambo's car. But he also drives a green off-road ATV around the Square too.
Actually, Jambo's ATV is Camo. You must not know him that well. He kinda gets violently angry when people call it green. Just an FYI....
You guys are too funny. Thanks for the humor. Some days we all need a good laugh.
Gus, this is Jambo here. What's so funny? My name?? My hand-attached-to-my-face?? My pride-and-joy ATV?? My driving skills?? My license plate??? Don't get me riled up! .....
Well, if Jambo is really the driver of the car with that license plate and if you really are Jambo, how about explaining why you found it necessary to cruise right up my tailpipe while I was slowing and stopping for the pedestrians and just what you meant by the "You can't see me" gesture - twice. And while you're at it, why you don't display the required front license plate on your car?
Don't you like things cruising up your tailpipe?
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