Tuesday, May 31, 2011

"Happy Memorial Day" - the right words?

A friend from the East Coast wrote this afternoon that yesterday, while he was standing in front of his condo, a woman had walked past and greeted him with "Happy Memorial Day". He said something nice back to her, but Memorial Day is not a happy day for him. His wife and he had planned to go to the cemetery and put flowers on their son's grave but then did not do it.

Their son had served two tours in Afghanistan and, when he came back, he just couldn't deal with what he had done there. It's called PTSD. He struggled for a year, saw many doctors and then ended his life about a year after he had returned to the U.S.

This greeting is one area where I cut people some slack, because they are just unconscious. As I was, until I was almost 30.

In 1969 or 1970 I took an insurance prospect to Dr. Conway in Chicago at 120 S. LaSalle St. for an insurance physical. I still vividly remember standing in his office on that Friday afternoon. As I left, I said something stupid like "Happy Memorial Day" or "Have a nice week-end", and to this day I remember the look on his face. He was an old geezer, like I am today, and his glance said it all. He was polite and didn't say a word, but I "got" it. And I have never forgotten it.

I have never since, even once, said that again. And I have tried really hard not to "educate" others who say that to me, because they are just not thinking about what they are saying.

There is a better expression to honor the veterans who gave "the last full measure of devotion." That's what Memorial Day is. It's the day to honor the memory of those who served and died. Or were injured and have died since.

When Memorial Day rolls around in 2012, find a proper way to greet others.

Just last night I watched Uncommon Valor, with Gene Hackman. Yesterday was the right day to watch that movie.

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