TROs - Do They Work? Always?

TROs - Temporary Restraining Orders. Do they work? Do they always work?

These are legal orders designed to protect someone or something. They are often first thought of as a judge's order for one person to stay away from another person; for example, if harm has been threatened or committed against a person. One person makes a police report and then asks a judge for "protection."

The first thing for the victim to know is that a piece of paper is worthless as a bulletproof vest. If someone is coming after you to do you in, then you need to be prepared to defend yourself. How often do we read of a woman who fears a husband or boyfriend or ex- and who is later shot, in spite of a restraining order? That person needed to get really serious about self-defense. For me, that means owning a good handgun and being prepared to use it.

A temporary restraining order is just that - temporary. Good for a very limited period of time, perhaps 24-48-72 hours. During that time both parties, the victim and the accused, appear before the judge, who then decides whether to make the order more than temporary; e.g., permanent.

Now, how about these situations?

1. The victim changes her mind about prosecution and Hubby moves back home, and everything is going along smoothly - until the cops show up and arrest Hubby for violating the restraining order. And they are right - the judge's order is still in effect. So what is necessary is that the Order be canceled before Hubby moves back in or even encroaches on the defined distance at which he is to keep himself from her and perhaps not to even have any conversation with her. Read the fine print.

2. Here is one that is even crazier. A month or so ago, a couple married in California and shortly thereafter the cops arrested the newly-wedded husband for violating the restraining order.

I remember laughing at that one, although it is no laughing matter. But the cops probably could have handled it a different way. Since the couple was supposedly living happily ever after, was there really a need to arrest him? Technically, they were doing their job. But what was really this right solution to the dilemma in which the cops found themselves?